But try not to hit the snooze alarm. Believing in yourself is one of the greatest challenges. Today is the first day of 2006. I am going to be 53 this year and I'm excited about it. It is a number that holds fear from some--getting older, but that isn't happening with me. I know that this is my year. Why? I'm changing some things right off the bat. I charged into 2006, leaving my hindrances behind.
The last year was filled with what I believe to be hinderances. Guilt. Shame. Loneliness. Fear. Anger. Hurt. Sorrow. They didn't come upon me all at once. They didn't come all the time, but there were those moments of distress that paralyzed me--created inadequate functioning. I second-guessed myself. Often, I succumbed to the hurt and sorrow of family matters. I didn't pursue my dreams, feeling that I had to work for others--and deny myself. I didn't listen to spirit because I sometimes believed that God couldn't possibly want me to tell the stories I thought relevant. I needed to get a real job. And yet, my "job" was unfulfilling and I found myself telling stories at every chance I could. I didn't care if I got paid for it, I just wanted to tell these stories. And sometimes I did. The sad thing is sometimes I didn't.
This year I participated in an event called "Tellebration." It was storytelling at its finest and the truth is the Texas community of storytellers has a long way to go--but it has an incredible wealth of individuals who CAN tell a story. The day of the Tellabration event, I had one problem after another. Kinda the "bills and short change" scenario that I talk about in my Christmas poem (A Sister Christmas), plus the silly men and their war games is an issue that should be on the radar of every human being on the planet. We've got to change the way we do things and we've got to eradicate war more than ever before. It's a rich man's game with poor (wo) men casualties. But I digress. I almost didn't do Tellabration ... and even after I said yes, that night was filled with so much of my "stuff" that I thought I wouldn't be able to go on. Then I stood center stage ... in front of the lights and ...
Well, lets just say, I told a great story! I felt it course through my veins, implode through my pores and out of my mouth came pure entertainment (with a little bit editorializing that I'm famous for). But, I found my power and I shared it. And then I lost it again. I got busy with the fundamentals of life ... and wasn't able to catch it for a while, mostly because I didn't have a place to tell the stories. Then it hit me! Of course, I have a place to tell stories. I do it all the time. Emails. Yep! And my blogs which take into consideration the places where I put my energies--my work for building a culture of peace through non-violence. For women. For the children. For us all.
And then there is my radio show. The Peace Hour Radio Show on KPFT has been a show in the making for two years. The first show was January 7th (2004--4 days after my Mother's death): The Meaning of the Dream alongside a MLK program at St. Thomas Univerity. Ernest McMillan was my first guest and I caught it again. Not only do I tell the stories, I gather them and other people tell their stories. We have talked peace in all its forms. From education to healthcare, politics to religion (not forbidden discussions on the show), and peace within (with my friend Laura Holiday). We're doing it and hopefully when "The Peace Hour" becomes a regular show this year (hopefully by February 2006), we'll do more of it.
So, this ramble is that spirit is constantly offering us the opportunity to "wake up!" Wake up to new ideas. Wake up to your own creativity. Wake Up to Life! And Reason. And Answers. To Peace. I'm taking 2006 by storm. I'm cleaning out the cobwebs of my mind's hindrances and moving towards holding on to the empowering love of storytelling in all its forms. That's where I live. That's where I'm happiest. That's where I do the most good.
Peace to you and yours as you find your place. Wake Up! It's a new day. P.K.